Posts Tagged ‘holland’

Pirate Beer

Figure 1. Pirate Beer

A note to all you scurvy knaves: Due t’ Halloween festivities, this week’s article will be dressed in a pirate costume complete with a wooden leg, a hook for a hand and a scruffy parrot on its shoulder. Gar, Where can I find a bottle o’rum? (All pirate-talk translations be provided by the landlubbers at talklikeapirateday).

Introduction

Arrr, think o’ Dutch beers and brands such as Heineken, Amstel and Oranjeboom sprin’ t’ mind. Howe’er, thar be plenty o’ other less-well known beers t’ be had. United Dutch Breweries boast an extensive range o’ beers includin’ Weidmann Lager, Phoenix Strong Lager, Three Horses Dark Malt Beverage and Pirate Beer (UDB products, 2010). Pirate Beer is an 8.5% alc. vol. strong lager originally from the Breda Brewery.. A pence for an old man o’de sea?

Aye, pirates seem t’ have a tenuous connection with beer and a more common association with rum feels both more traditional and comfortable. Little information is available from either Breda Brewery or UDB, and this may be due t’ the questionable link between the product and brand mentioned previously. Gaarrr! They should be keel hauled!

Aim

Aye, this experiment was designed t’ investigate numerous characteristics o’ Pirate Beer includin’, but not limited to, aroma, flavour, colour, satisfaction and vessel design.   Yarrgh!

Method

Aye, a 500 ml can o’ Pirate Beer was obtained from a local supermarket for NZdoubloons3.99. The can was refrigerated t’ 4oC before the integrity o’ the can was breached under controlled conditions usin’ the supplied puncturin’ device. The contents o’ the can war decanted int’ a clean glass vessel. Aroma was evaluated by smellin’ the beer. Flavour was analysed by tastin’ the beer and discussin’ it with a research collaborator at great length and, subsequently, satisfaction was assessed. Aye, me parrot concurs.

Results

Ahoy, results for Pirate Beer be shown in table 1 below. Ye’ll ne’er get me buried booty!

Table 1. Characteristics of Pirate Beer

Characteristic Result
Aroma Aye, sweet caramelly and fruity on the nose with an almost cider-like quality with a suggestion o’ ash tray lin’erin’ in the surroundin’s. Overall, the aroma be faint
Flavour Cloyin’ with a pungent lacquer aftertaste. The heinous taste o’ the beverage caused the researchers t’ abort the experiment and dispose o’ the sample responsibly. Garrr!
Colour A deep yellow colour, bordering on orange
Satisfaction The researchers struggled t’ identify a situation which would befit imbibing such an offensive brew
Vessel Design The can be illustra’ed with a clichéd pirate image, replete with parrot, wooden leg, cutlass, tricorn, eye patch and a cannon in t’ background (see figure 1)
Head A disappointin’ white foam emerges upon pourin’, but recedes to almost nothin’ within 39 seconds. Yarrgh!
Drinkability 2

 

Conclusion

Aye, havin’ sampled Pirate Beer, the researchers now understand why it is not a prominent Dutch beverage. Pirate Beer succeeded in offendin’ on almost all scales. The researchers war reluctant t’ award drinkability scores or 1 because it is not inconceivable that thar be worse be’erages a’ailable. Ye’ll ne’er get me buried booty!

Aye, it is possible that, if pirates had consumed Pirate Beer, this could be the reason behind their frequent use o’ strange noises such as Yarrgh and Garrr and the incorrect use o’ the verb ‘be’. Howe’er, it is beyond the scope o’ this study t’ confirm this hypothesis. Gar, Where can I find a bottle o’rum?

References

http://www.talklikeapirateday.com/translate/

http://www.udbexport.com/EN/products

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Figure 1. De Kuyper Kirsch

Introduction

Holland, renowned for its cheese, flatness and wooden shoes, is home to De Kuyper Royal Distillers, the producers of those garishly-coloured, fruity liqueurs found in parents’ drinks cabinets around the world, often seen with a sugary crust around the cap (www.dekuyper.com, 2010).  De Kuyper started trading in 1695 and remains a family business to this day, and currently produces “over 70 different products”, most of which are extremely vividly coloured (www.dekuypercompany.com, 2010), in fact, colouration appears to be a large part of their marketing as their product range is displayed with corresponding colour of each liquor (www.dekuyper.com/liqueurs/, 2010).

The origins of kirsch, a colourless fruit brandy, are a little hazy, but production utilises a “double-distillation of morello cherries … including their stones”, and “about 10 kilograms (22 pounds) of cherries go into the making of a 750 ml bottle of Kirsch” (Wikipedia.org, 2010).  Perhaps the most well-known use of kirsch is as an essential ingredient in traditional Swiss cheese fondue recipes, but is also used in cocktails such as the Lady Finger (Wikipedia.org, 2010).

Aim

This experiment was designed to investigate numerous characteristics of De Kuyper Kirsch including, but not limited to, aroma, flavor, colour, satisfaction and vessel design.

Method

A 500 ml sample of De Kuyper Kirsch was collected from a local bottle store for NZ$36.00.  The bottle cap was removed under controlled conditions.  15 ml samples were decanted into clean ceramic vessels.  Aroma was evaluated by smelling the sample.  Flavour was analysed by tasting the samples and discussing results with a research collaborator at great length and, subsequently, satisfaction was assessed.  The bottle was held up to a standardized light to evaluate the colour of the liquor, and aesthetic aspects of the vessel were considered.

Results

The results for De Kuyper Kirsch are shown in table 1 below.

Table 1. Characteristics of De Kuyper Kirsch

Characteristic Result
Aroma Strong scent of nail varnish remover with a suggestion of sweetened almonds verging on the marzipanesque
Flavour After the initial, harsh alcoholic burn has dissipated, synthetic  cherry flavour comes to the fore which recedes leaving a distant fruity aftertaste
Colour Clear, colourless liquid
Satisfaction Drunk as an undiluted spirit (40% vol.), satisfaction is limited by the subject’s ability to resist the urge to dilute the spirit with an alternative substance such as orange juice or carbonated lemon beverages
Vessel Design Tall, sleek, elegant, clear glass bottle which is adorned with a simple, two-colour label in cream and maroon (see figure 1)
Drinkability 3

Conclusion

The study revealed that, while cherries are generally regarded as delicious, after double-distillation much of this delectability disappears in De Kuyper Kirsch.   Furthermore, De Kuyper Kisrch is somewat disappointing in that it lacks the vibrant colours of other beverages made by the distillery.  While it is beyond the scope of this study to evaluate the best use of De Kuyper Kirsch, the researchers suspect that Swiss cheese fondues may be the most efficient (and tasty) method of disguising the harsh alcoholic burn associated with consumption of the undiluted liquor.

References

http://www.dekuyper.com/

http://www.dekuyper.com/liqueurs/

http://www.dekuypercompany.com/

http://www.freedrinkrecipes.com/cocktails-drinks-recipes/ladyfinger-drink-recipe.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kirsch